Afternoon Conversation. #3

It’s happening again. The over analyzing of a situation. The part where my minds gets foggy and somehow it just feels all negative. This is why you shouldn’t hope on something or someone to be like how you imagined. I shouldn’t expect anything. That way I can’t be disappointed when it doesn’t happen. Have no expectations. So the probability of getting disappointed in the end of day is low. And if by miracle the opposite happens you’ll get a great surprise.

I feel like there’s no point in investing any sort of expectation towards this project. The higher I hope, the further up the drop will be when it ends. Im already afraid of heights. Ironic.

I’m so sure in a month this motion sickness will be over. i know how to lock up the storm inside my head so it’ll be fine. The whole idea of this project sounds like a dream (and if you’ve read what I interpreted dreams are defined as you’ll understand what I am implying) that cant be reality forever. It’s to good of a topic.

I can already hear the amount of people who would say “no this project is great and it’ll be a success!”. Maybe. but if only you could read my thoughts and see things through my eyes. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe dreams can go on forever and just adjust itself to become something even better. maybe. I swear it’s just me.I just cant accept  happy things.

I feel like once you accept the happy you’re screwed. You become to careless when you’re happy. Do you not realise how easy it is to fall once your happy? That one thing that lead you to see the greater things in life could be taken away, disappear, vanish just not be there anymore and you’ll fall into this state of mind where you just lose it. maybe not lose it. thats extreme. you just zone out. but not the type of zone out in class when you stare outside the window. zoned out like fully aware of the world but nothing matters anymore. Its not that you’re weak when you’re zoned out. its just that you lose feelings for anything. you just stop caring. you become numb.

It’s not all bad thought. Because you’ll wake up one day and be fine. either because you accepted another happy or the numb feeling is now the norm for you. the numb is you. You’ll adjust to just accept it because we’re human that way. You were meant to adjust and survive since the beginning of time.

So let me ask you again, why would you ever let anyone have the power to make you happy?

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